I'm happy to report that Santa was very good to me this year. Probably because I have been on my best behavior this year... not by choice of course.

Christmas Eve I had to work, but I got a migraine in the middle of the day and went home to spend most of the rest of the day in bed. I did get up to go to church though, another reason Santa loves me.

Christmas Day my mom made a great breakfast and we opened presents. The highlights were Felicity seasons 1-3 on DVD, Sex and the City Season 6 on DVD, Elf, a jewlery box, gift card, and 2 books I asked for (I'm a nerd I know). I gave my parents and my brother a lot of presents this year so I was really excited to be there to see them open them. I was in Boston for Christmas last year and opened my gifts all by myself Christmas morning before going to work (pathetic, huh?), so I was especially excited to be home this year.

After presents we drove to Binghamton to my aunt's house for our annual Padula christmas. Basically I just ate a lot and hung out with my cousins. Later that night we went to my great Aunt Nina's house for a typical italian christmas get together. With all the italian cookies (and booze) you could get. The next day we all opened presents and I got Mean Girls on DVD and a few little things. My stupid mom made the rule that when the neices and nephews turn 21 they don't get gifts from theis aunts and uncles anymore, so next year us 21+ cousins are going to exchange gifts just to spite them!

Monday, Monday, Monday. I worked during the day, then my 3 roommates from college (Beth, Lynn, and Kristin) came to Geneva to visit since Kristin and Beth were home from Atlanta for the holiday. I was able to get a room at the Ramada at a really good rate (REALLY good) so we got some Cam's pizza and camped out in the room drinking all night. We went downtown briefly for about an hour and a half, but I barely remember it. I do remember Lynn falling into a group of guys at Parkers though, lol. It was so much fun to catch up with them. I always tell myself that I don't miss college that much, but I really do miss those girls.

Tuesday I woke up to fight off my hangover and spent most of the day in bed. My family went out to Mario's for dinner cause my bro was leaving the next day and later I went over to Joe's to watch Napoleon Dynamite. I thought it was pretty funny, but I kinda expected more since everyone talked it up so much. I would definitely see it again though to see if I can truly appreciate it.

Wednesday night I went out with Erica and Joe cause Erica was going back to Rochester on Thursday. None of us had high expectations for that big of a night, but I ended up having the best time. There were a bunch of people there from a party and some of them got in a fight outside, so that was exciting... for Geneva, lol. Then our friends Chris and Charles showed up and we played some good power ballads (Faithfully, etc) and just ended up having a great random Wednesday night out, lol.

Last night (god this post is long, I apologize), Joe and I went out for a bit, but Gallagher's was crowded with people I didn't know (or didn't care to talk to), so we left after one drink. I did get to hang out with the artist formerly known as Mary Bridget Peters though, so that was a pleasant surprise. I don't think she'll remember it though, since she was pretty gone, lol.

Tonight is New Years' Eve. I don't have any expectations for tonight at all, especially since I think the plan is just to go out in Geneva... Nothing exciting ever happens to me anyways, as you can easily see when you read this boring blog of mine.

Tis the Christmas season! Ba-hum-bug!

This week has been pretty uneventful really, with the exception of my busy and annoying job in the lovely pizza department at Weggy's. My brother flew in from Tallahassee on Tuesday and I went to pick him up with my dad, which was just aggrivating cause I hate when he drives. It's good to have him home, except when he is hogging the computer or TV, cause that's my job.

I went to see Meet the Fockers on Wednesday and it was a great sequel to the first. I thought it might be over done and have Ben Stiller doing even more stupid physical comedy, etc, but it actually was clever and really funny.

Last night, Erica, Joe and I had our Christmas night. We went out to dinner at Parker's then exchanged gifts and drank at my house. Erica got me an awesome deck of cards and this "decision dice", kind of like an eight ball type of thing. They make them for things like career, what to do today, etc. The one the I have is for relationships and has choices the "true love", "quickie", "marry", "tease", "flirt", and "dump". So we played with that and got some pretty interesting results for the guys we were rolling about, and each other, lol. If you want to know what I rolled for you, just IM me and ask (cause chances are I rolled for everyone who is reading this).

We went downtown (to Gallagher's of course) and met up with Stacey, Danielle, John Yannotti, etc. It was really crowded and kind of annoying so we stayed for a few drinks then followed my brother and John Hannan up to Parker's. We were back at Gags for last call where the highlights were Tyler pretending to put gum in my hair and Danielle spilling her drink down my back, lol. All and all it was a good night out in G-town.

I want to add a special Christmas message to everyone reading. I hope you have all the Christmas dinner you can eat and share your holiday with those that you love. Be safe and don't do anything I wouldn't do (like Goldschlager) :)

Yesterday (monday), Joe and I went to see Closer all the way at Regal at Eastview because Geneva sucks and never gets any decent movies at our theaters. It baffles me that Christmas with the Cranks is playing in Geneva which is probably the biggest flop, and they still don't have Closer within a 10 mile radius of me. Anyways, the movie which I was told was depressing, ended up being really well presented. I thought it was intriguing and extremely vulgar, but not in it's sexually acts, but in it's language. Now that I think about it, there weren't really any sex scenes, just graphic conversations about sex that we know occured because they talk about it. It was definitely a different approach to adultery and cheating than I expected. I expected something more like Unfaithful with all it's steamy sex scenes, but I really enjoyed the fact that the movie was more about the emotions associated with the acts. Also I discovered that I am in love with Natalie Portman. She is absolutely gorgeous in this movie and is a tremedous actress. I've always thought she was a great actress because she's in a few of my favorite movies of all time (Beautiful Girls, Garden State), but I never really saw how beautiful she is until this movie. I'm not questioning my sexuality, but seriously I'm in love with her, lol.

This weekend was pretty great I must say...

Friday night Joe and I went out and met up with Stacey who was there with Danielle, John Yanotti (sp?), Angie, Nicki, Jay Fitzgerald, and Jay's friend who I don't know his name but I told him I'd give him a discount on pizza at Wegmans (which I don't actually intend to do, lol). I'd never really hung out with John, Jay, Danielle, etc other than just seeing them out, but Friday we all were talking and having a really great time. Steph Fratto showed up with her fiance Brian and they were wasted from the infamous Fratto Christmas party and Stacey, Steph, Jessica Noonan and I ended up dancing on the bar, lol. This was a first for me (at least at Gallagher's), but luckily I remember very little of it, lol. I then proceeded to call basically everyone in my phone book at about 1:30am, so sorry to all my drunk dialing victims, but it was a really great night out ;)

Saturday Joe and I went to see Spanglish, which was not as good as I had hoped it would be, but I got to see Adam Sandler, so that's always a good thing. Later that night, Steph and Brian came over and we went out to Gallaghers. The bar was crowded but I felt like I didn't know anyone there basically. I did get to see my friend Keith who was home from the Navy which was nice. We played photo hunt most of the night, but Steph and I did a shot and I got nauseous, so that was the end of the night for me...

Sunday I basically pissed away by sleeping in and watching TV until I worked at 5pm. I wasn't planning on going out at all (since it was Sunday), but Stacey said she was going out, and Keith stopped in to Wegmans and said he would be out too, so I quickly convinced Joe to come too and headed downtown after work. It was pretty crowded cause I guess there was a policeman/fireman something or other Christmas party and everyone was out from that. I just spent most of the night making fun of Danielle's scarf, that I secretly loved and wanted her to give me, lol.

In other news... I got offered the job as Accomodations Supervisor at Turning Stone Casino and Resort on Friday. I am very excited that I got the offer, but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to take it. I don't want to move to Onieda or anywhere over there really and still have a 20-40 minute commute everyday... especially in the winter snow. I also didn't like that I would be in an office all day and not interact with guests. I just don't want to burn any bridges with them. I also know that I really don't think I'll be happy at the job. It sucks, I wish it was only a 20-40 minute drive from here in Geneva, cause then I might take it. It's not like it's the only job I'm going to get offered either though, so I don't want to settle. At least I made a decision about not wanting a job, it's a step in the right direction!!!

So I'm officially 24 now.... it's an amazing feeling I can't even begin to describe... coughsarcasmcough

Last night we went out to celebrate by going BOWLING, then downtown. Joe, Steph, Stacey, Erica, her boyfriend Andrew and I went out to eat at my favorite restaurant (Ciccino's) then met Kara, Matt D., Lisa, Lauren, and Scott at Sunset for some rock'n'bowling, lol. Steph and I had a heated competition going on, she beat me by one pin the first game and we tied the second. I was robbed though.

After the bowling Kara, Matt, Lauren, and Scott went home and the rest of us headed downtown to continue drinking. Andrew, Erica and I were basically the only ones drinking cause Joe, Steph, and Stacey didn't want to. Which is fine, but I wish they would been able to drink and enjoy themselves. I'm use to birthdays in Buffalo where everyone else is as drunk or MORE drunk than me! I'm glad everyone came out, but at the same time since only a few people were drinking I felt like I had to work extra hard to keep everyone happy, when it should have been the other way around. I guess I'm kinda of sick of doing that all the time now actually. I wish I didn't worry so much about whether or not people were having fun cause it's getting to be pathetic.

Anyways, Parker's was pretty crowded which was nice cause I didn't think anyone would be out at all since it was a Wednesday night. But apparently I share my birthday with other people in Geneva too! So I got to see Jon, Eric, Bill, etc who were all out for their friend's birthday (and I'll pretend they were out to celebrate mine too, lol). Joe, Steph and Stacey left cause they were bored and miserable, but Erica and Andrew stayed with me and Lisa met us too so we closed the bar and then Joey came and gave us a ride home (and my b-day gift! thanks Joe!).

Overall I had a great night, which I was paying for this morning when I went to my job interview with a pounding headache, lol. I had a second interview at the Ramada for an Assistant Executive Housekeeper position and I think it went really well. I'm willing to consider taking the job if they can pay me enough to make it worth my while. I am hesitant to though because I don't want to get trapped staying in Geneva too long. I want to be in the area for awhile, and I love New York, I'm just not sure GENEVA is where I want to be. I wish I could find something in Rochester or Syracuse that is just as good of a career decision. Than again there is the Boston option too... Apparently being another year older doesn't make me any wiser....

Geneva, Geneva, Geneva... you never change you dirty whore of a city.

So I am home in the lovely state of New York once again living with my parents. A situation I have been able to avoid for the past 5 years. I am not going to knock it, because it was a choice I made, a choice that, at the time, seemed like the most logical step. It's just getting use to living under the constant nagging and over-all parenting that occurs when one returns home that I am not that keen on. I am just adjusting to it again.

You may (or may not) be asking yourself why I chose to return to a place that I will continue to complain about for as long as I am here probably. I ask myself that question to. I suppose it's because I can't make a decision on what the hell I want to do with my life. By returning home, I am delaying making that decision for as long as possible. I am taking the easy way out. I am being the most avoidant of avoidants.

I love my parents. I love my friends at home. I have moments in Geneva that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. But I also know there is a world outside of Geneva, if I am willing to explore it. I have been independant enough to move to Martha's Vineyard on my own and then to Boston. I have only been able to put up with these "non-home" environments for brief periods of time though before I freak out and need to come home for a few weeks. I am starting to think I have ADD when it come to other cities. I am starting to think I am scared of being independant than I ever imagined I was.

I am going to be 24 on Wednesday. That is huge for me. I am 24 and in the same town I grew up in, at the same job I had in high school, living with my parents. I feel like I have failed myself. I have an education, I have money in the bank, I have experience in my career, but I have no direction. I have no one telling me what to do next and it scares the shit out of me.

When you go from grade school to high school, it's the next step. You don't question it, you don't think it's the wrong choice... it's what happens after 8th grade. When you go from high school to college, you have to make your first big decision. Where do I want to go? What should I study? But the nice thing about that is- you have councilors, parents, teachers, all "grown ups" with experience and knowledge to help you make the decision. There was little or no questioning in my mind that college was the next step after high school... it's what you do next.

But my huge massive, overwhelming problem is... WHAT NEXT? I have graduated from college. I have taken all the steps I was "suppose to". Now what? I am sitting here waiting for someone else to make a decision for me cause it's the hardest thing I can think of doing right now. I have never doubted myself or my ablitiy to figure out what is right for me than I am right now. Because I don't know what I want to do, I am starting to doubt my major in college, I am starting to doubt my decision in colleges. I am even going all the way back to my decision to go to DeSales over Geneva High. I am trying to track my decisions to where i can figure out what I did wrong, if I even did anything wrong. When what I should be doing is deciding what I can do to be happy with all the decisions I made and have no regrets in the future.

Some people would say I am having my quarter-life crisis. I would say I've been having it for years. I just don't know how to break the cycle.