(This was suppose to post on 12/4/02 - but it didn't, so pretend I posted it on Wednesday)

Yippie! I made a blog! I've always admired the blog pioneers such as Joe and Erica, but have always been cursed by laziness and have refused to create one. I think I just always thought my life was to boring to talk about, but then again, who's life isn't boring? Plus, I have to think of our future generations, when I am gone, all of my followers may look to my blog entries for inspiration in their lives. So the blog will be my gift to society. If you are wondering why I chose to start the blog today, you must understand that the one thing I do better than laziness is procratination, which means I have a lot of work to do, but instead I have started my blog. Also, my good friend Julie once told me "I think you could solve a lot of your problems if you just write." Hopefully she is right, and I can use the blog as therapy too.



Today's word is: reflection



Reflection because that's what I've been doing most of the day. Reflecting on my emotions, my school work, my friends, my life basically. It all started when I got bored after class today and couldn't think about anything but wanting to listen to sad songs. You know that is always bad 'cause it can never be uplifting. Luckily, Kristin snapped me out of it and took me on a car ride around downtown Buffalo. Driving around Buffalo always puts me in an odd mood. Until you do it, you won't be able to understand what I mean by that. Kristin's friend Brandi came over after we got back and was talking about her trip to Europe over Thanksgiving break, it got me thinking about everything that went on when I was in Switzerland. It really got me thinking about how much I miss it over there. About how much that trip changed me. It's good to reflect on things you miss I think... Once I snapped out of the daze, Krissy, Lynn and I went to good ole Weggy's for some eats. I came back and had an amazing conversation in our "secret" Geneva chat that Angie, Erica, Joe and I participate in. Angie and I were discussing how many people we've made out with (yes, we keep a tally, lol) and then Erica started analyzing us because she is taking a psych of personality class. Erica said I was "avoidant" meaning that I'm ": highly correlated with frustration, and self reliance, negatively correlated with proximity seeking and trust, and avoidants show an inability to disclose, drinking heavily, and unrestricted sexual behavior". With the exception of maybe the "unrestricted sexual behavior", lol, I thought the description was everything that I am. It really blew my mind how much I could relate to that analysis. Erica also mentioned that "if you're avoidant you might care about someone but you don't want them all over you, that makes you uncomfortable....so you try to be "cool" but they end up pushing closer to you b/c they think you're being distant". It's scary how much that reminds me of my relationships with people. Especially with Tim, who by the way, called me tonight unexpectedly. You know that feeling you get in your stomach when you see someone you weren't expecting to see, or someone calls you weren't expecting to hear from? It's like a sharp fluttering of nervousness and it makes your heart beat really fast? I love that feeling, and I got it tonight. The last time I think I had that feeling was when I use to go to Wegmans and see DJ working. Which was like 3 years ago, so feeling that tonight was great. I think I'll end on that note! I wish you all the same sharp fluttering in your stomachs!